In order for you to imagine what it was like at my house as a child during Christmas, you simply had to be there.

Although I wasn’t raised in the church or grew up reading the Bible, I knew that Christmas was supposed to be about the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. That may be the commercially celebrated day but at that time I could care less. I knew it as the day when I got the entire Thundercats collection or the 8-bit Nintendo with five games. There were so many gifts that Santa didn’t even bother wrapping them. Instead he opted for tags marking designated zones sectioning off our territories. Pretty much if you asked for it, you would get it. Very few times did I not get something on my list.

That didn’t last forever-time changes people, families, situations-but when I grew up I realized that the reason my parents busted their butts to spoil us so much at Christmas was to apologize for all the time they spent working. I don’t blame them for that; they had to do what they had to do. This isn’t a woe is me blame my parents thing, that’s simply what it was. My mother an RN and my father a chemical dependency counselor, they worked an insane amount of hours to keep us in private schools and out of the ghettos of Milwaukee. I was resentful at first as a young adult but when you have kids and family of your own, you start to see things differently.

I made peace with my parents once I had grown up enough to understand that life is hard. It’s harder when you are responsible for other people. Its’ a challenge, rise to it but never take it for granted and never drop the ball. You can not afford to drop the ball, lives depend on it. Fast-forward about 20 years and having a family of my own I decided to do things differently. We would still celebrate Christmas but we would do it with a primary focus on the “reason for the season.” We’d exchange a few gifts, go to church to fellowship with our church members and then spend time with each other, as a family.

Oh, and no tree. Not because I was anti-Christmas, but I didn’t want my son to grow up thinking that Christmas was all about getting toys. I didn’t want him to see it the way that I had grown up seeing it and in doing so-although he never complained-I was taking the “magic” out of Christmas.

So last year while talking to my mom, it slipped out that I wasn’t; how did she put it? “doing Christmas right!” so she made me promise that this year I’d get her grand baby a tree. I can’t say no to my mom and besides, she’d come here and shoot me if I didn’t do it, especially after promising. At 34 years old, there’s a reason I still say yes maam and no maam. She’s a deathly serious woman when provoked.

A trip to Target and a few decorations later and I realized that all this time I’ve been wrong. There wasn’t a need for me to fear the tree because the tree isn’t the problem, nor what it symbolizes. I didn’t give my son credit enough. I didn’t respect that he was intelligent enough and grown to a point where he understood what was going on. We’ve been raising him right, sure we make mistakes all parents do but if you know my son you know I’m blessed with a great kid. He’s a smart young man that realizes that of course gifts and toys and partying aren’t what Christmas is all about: but it doesn’t hurt to have a little fun either. I had forgotten that I guess. All of that gets lost sometimes when you’ve been living life for so long. I’m wrapped up in paying bills, putting food on the table and trying to figure out what the hell is going on in Washington. Some of the fun in life had been drained away, something we can never let happen, no matter how much reality likes to beat down on us. Kids are great for restoring your joy. I think God uses them to do special things like that for those of us who at times have their love for the world grow cold and indifferent.

The tree has been a big hit in our house so far. Even Peaches (my dog, another life first) has wrapped gifts with “Santa Paws” written on the tag, under it. The paranoia of ruining the man-child has subsided and the tree will continue to make appearances.

When I asked Neo if he was mad about not getting a tree in the past he said: “No, because we still had a great time and stuff daddy. Just don’t let it happen again, ok?”

“Boy hush…pass me my controller and let’s get to owning some people.”

Merry Christmas everybody