“You don’t have much time, you have to come now.” And like that we were gone.
A day later and thousands of miles away from home, I found myself taking the longest walk of my life to a place I didn’t want to go.

As a family we walked through the double sliding automatic doors to the nursing home that was located not far from my mother’s suburban Florida home. Although we were altogether: me, Pam, Neo, my mother and step-father, I’ll swear for eternity that at point in time I as alone. The clean and kept facility had long, wide hallways that had the patients rooms on either side. Each door had a name plate and a number and as my mother lead the way to momo’s room, I slowly examined the names of those who occupied the rooms we passed. I also took note of the empty ones.

I hope we’d gotten there in time. Please God don’t take her without me saying bye…

You’ll have to forgive me for the broken patterns of speech; for as I type my hands tremble. I miss her so much. I knew that no matter what she loved me-always-and to lose something like that…someone who never got mad at you, just showed you love…that hurts. It hurts like hell.

When we got to her room time itself ceased to have any relevance whatsoever. Pam had never meet her and Neo was way too little to understand what was going on, but I knew full well. Before me sat the greatest woman I had ever known-my grandmother, and she had no idea who I was.

She had lost so much weight she almost didn’t look the same. More like an inquisitive child than who I remembered, I wanted the world to end right then and there. I knew then that a part of me was staying there with her when I eventually left. A part that I didn’t want anymore if she wasn’t going to be there to share it with. She could take her half back to Heaven with her.

I came and went a few times in a sad attempt to regain composure in front of my wife and son. I didn’t want him to see me cry, nor her for that matter. I don’t know how many times I did that but once when I came in I noticed that Neo, who again was a small child at this time, had walked over to her bed and sat down next to her.

They were talking.

I walked closer and when I had reached the edge of her bed she turned her head and looked me dead in my eyes. There was an intensity in her stare that I knew. It was the look of someone telling you the truth. I knew that she was trying to convey something to me.

I was hit with a flash of memories. Of her jumbo cinnamon rolls and parsley potatoes and butter. She could cook anything, and she was a master at it.

I thought about the 8 track player that she had for all those many years, way before I was even born. She would play MJ’s “Rock with you” and I would dance. I love to dance, I still do. And I still love that song. It was kind of like “our song” if that makes sense. At any rate, this thing was cool because it had a small disco ball that hung at the top that was surrounded by mirrors. Whenever you played a song, it would start to turn and the lights would shine upon it, reflecting all sorts of colors that shoot off at odd angles.

And then I thought about one time when I was the same age as Neo was during this experience. Momo was babysitting us, or we were visiting, something of that nature. I walked around the corner from her small living room, going towards her room. She was on her knees praying.

“Moma what are you doing?”

“I’m praying for you baby…”

And like that, she turned her head back to Neo. She looked puzzled and asked us who he was…who we were, and rather than go through introductions again we agreed it was best to all go. I gave her a kiss and a hug and walked out the door with my family. We went back to my mothers house in silence. Once there we proceeded about our ways, each one to themselves. I was playing Halo with Neo-I brought my Xbox with me on “vacation” and an extra duke so we could both play. It kept my mind clear, I didn’t’ have to think about it right then.

Two weeks later and back home on the other coast, I got the call letting me know she had passed. My aunt Wanda called me and after we talked for awhile she told me that before she had gotten too far gone, she had expressed the want to see my family. Neo at that time was her only great grandchild and Pam her only daughter in law.

She waited for us.

And that’s it. I can’t tell you the day, the month, the year or even what it was-it‘s not important. All of that is associated with what my eyes were saying sat before me and I don‘t want to remember that person. That wasn’t moma…that wasn’t Anna. The Anna Jones I knew was the one that looked me in the eyes and told me to remember that she prayed for us all and to never forget it because God had heard her and he never forgets.

We miss you momo, but we’ll be alright.