My car, Cortana.

It’s going to be one of those days.

Before we get started on my little adventure you have to understand what kind of mind frame I am in. In order to do that, I have selected two songs that do a pretty good job at explaining how I’m feeling right now:

And this one:

Now that we’ve got that out of the way (consider that your ticket to the bipolar circus that is my conscience) we can begin proper.

This is an Ikea, Starbucks kind of day, that and driving my beetle.

I love my car.

When I say love, I don’t mean it like the guy I saw on that show about addictions the other day. I don’t remember the name of it, but it’s a show about people who do really weird stuff habitually. On this particular episode, they had a guy who suffered from object loving (it’s called object-a-felia but spellcheck won’t stop auto correcting me.) He took it to the next, NEXT level by having “intercourse” with his car–I’m so not about to do that–but I do love driving my beetle. Moon roof back, windows open with Sigur Ros playing loudly through my speakers.

It would fit perfectly into that scene in fight club where he’s ordering all the stuff from the Ikea calendar. I don’t do that, mainly because I can’t afford to, but I love Ikea. California has a lot of things I can’t stand about it, but one thing I love is the scenery. I could drive for days just admiring God’s creation. It’s the same feeling I had when I lived in Washington state: green trees, cloudy skies and a caramel macchiato in my hand. For me, it’s more of a state of mind. I would throw Mr. Pickle (a local sandwich shop) but I don’t eat there anymore; that’s another story for another day. Regardless, I just want to take my keys and drive off into the sunset.

But, my car needs an oil change, some minor repairs and most importantly “driving around gas” which is something that doesn’t exist at this moment because gas prices are so high. We’re at well over $4’s a gallon right now. If you’re reading this from another country where petrol is much more expensive, and you balk at our paltry prices, you must understand that this is very high for American drivers.

I used to be able to hop in Cortana; that’s my cars name, and drive to my heart’s content. It’s at least a good 45 minutes to an hour to the nearest Ikea. Sure you could get there faster but, I don’t speed like that. I’m used to driving with my family in the car; at the very least my son, and as such I tend not to speed or do anything “crazy” when I’m on the road. Besides, when you’re moving like a bat out of hell, you don’t get to appreciate the moment if you will. And I like to live in the moment: it’s the only time you have that matters because you’re not guaranteed the next.

To best experience this, you can’t really be doped up on your meds. Bipolar can really suck but there are those times where heightened emotions and eradicate behaviour seem to have their place. The compilation of my VW, a sunny day with the roof open and happily obscure songs thumping thru your miniscule speakers, seems to go together in a way that you have to experience to understand. It brings peace of mind, solace and contentment to an otherwise chaotic maelstrom of irrational thoughts and actions.

If you can, go for a drive today. Make a play list, relax and enjoy the open road. It doesn’t matter if you a destination but the journey in and of itself is what keeps you motivated. Add in lunch at your local pho restaurant and it’s weekend confirmed.

Have a blessed weekend.