I was blind to the truth of my problem, but now, I see.

With gas prices’ getting higher by the day it seems, sometimes we have to make deviations to our regular daily travel routines. This can be especially dicey when it comes to church because my family and I attend services at a house of worship that is about an hour from our home. For those of you wondering, “Why do they go to such a far away church? “ To that, I can just say that you don’t pick where you serve you just serve.

Keeping that in mind, I had to make a tactical decision. We can either go to our home church or, save gas and go local. I chose the latter option. Good thing I did because I learned something very important from today’s sermon (several things actually, more on that later). Key among them being…

I think too much. Way too much.

When I say, “think” I really mean dwell, because ultimately that is what I end up doing, a whole lot of dwelling on things. This is different from actual thinking because at least when you are earnestly thinking about something, there is a generally accepted understanding that thru such an endeavor, one will arise at some profound understanding of their particular dilemma. I start with good intentions; meaning I want to find a solution, but that isn’t always the case. Sometimes you can think yourself into a corner and then you’re forced to either cry out to God in shame of not listening earlier or you lean on your own understanding. So because I think so much (re: dwell) I end up doing the one thing that I shouldn’t, tune God out. Don’t act as if you don’t or haven’t done it before, we all do. It’s just the degree to which we do it or have done it, that is in question. This brings me today’s lesson, and how it opened my eyes.

The sermon given today covered John 9 where Jesus heals a man that has been blind since birth. That re-telling is great on its own, but that isn’t what got me to think about the error in my thinking. It was the response of the Pharisees that triggered it. From verses 13-34, we see the Pharisees go nuts over this blind man–that everyone knew was blind, since birth–and the Jesus who healed him. They constantly wanted proof and answers as to how and why this happened and no matter what was said to them, they continued pushing the issue. In fact, in verse 27 the man gets tired of their line of questioning and says to them:

27 He answered, “I have told you already and you did not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you want to become his disciples too?”

That’s a pretty smart-mouth comment and a dangerous one because he was looking at being kicked out of the temple for good. Back then, it wasn’t like you could hop on face book complain about the church and then head out down the street next weekend, to another one. You either were in or you were out, but if you read on what you will see is that none of that mattered to the man because he could see. He didn’t care if they thought he was a sinner or that Jesus supposedly did something wrong by healing on the Sabbath; he just knew he was healed. In fact, he wasn’t even looking for Jesus to heal him in the first place– Jesus came to him.

How many of us can say that as well? I know I wasn’t looking for him when he knocked…

All of this pointed towards something glaringly obvious about us then and us now and in particular, me. I did what this man did not…I leaned on my own understanding. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to do the exact opposite saying that we should: 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

That’s how I ended up being mixed up. I took my eye off the ball. For one, I do more thinking about God and his word than reading and obeying it, let alone praying on it. There is an old saying that “the idle mind is the devil’s playground.” I would like to go one-step further by saying that the busy mind…that isn’t busy on Godly things…can be one also. Had I kept my nose in the Word, I wouldn’t be having this “discussion” with you right now. But then it would just be something else. The devil never stops and he is good at what he does. However, I can’t blame him; he didn’t make me not drink from the Living Water. I put myself into this conundrum because I figured that…well, I could figure it out.

Fail.

The truth is, I let myself get weak and discouraged. This weakness is cemented when you stray from the word. I haven’t been putting on my armor. That armor isn’t just to protect us from dangers from without, but also from within. There is a famous Christian acronym for the word bible that says the bible stands for: Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth, and it’s absolutely true. Even when I look back at my life before I was saved, I can find the biblical knowledge that would have guided me through those times more…efficiently. I have yet to come across a situation that the bible doesn’t address. That does not mean that everything in life is specifically detailed in how we are supposed to deal with them. Rather, the cumulative knowledge of God and his word manifested in scripture and in our life experiences for the believer, gives us wisdom in to how to deal with these things. Sometimes that’s accepting the fact that we are not meant to know everything at this time, like God’s immediate plans. This is why prayer and meditation are necessary and crucial elements to everyday Christian living.

It was foolish of me to get bent out of shape about a slip of the tongue earlier this week (read my previous two postings). Had I read the passage from Romans that was given to me and had I kept my eyes fixed on his will, I wouldn’t have spent the remainder of the week feeling down and out and abandoned. I know better than that because God has shown me better than that.

I cannot say I won’t get discouraged again. But I can say that going forward I want to be more like the blind man who told the Pharisees straight to their faces that he didn’t care what they were mixed up in as far as Jesus was concerned because he was healed. Jesus has healed us all, and like the blind man, I can now see.

Thanks God, you are awesome. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go polish my armor in preparation for tomorrow’s battles.