“Hi, welcome to the Apple store! Can I answer any questions for you?”

“Thanks, I do have one question, what does the “S” standard for on your new phone? I’ve never owned an Apple product so I don’t….”

“Oh…I’m sorry.”

“…what are you sorry about?”

At first I just looked at the young woman who had a puzzled look on her face; she stared back at me like I was some rare extinct beast from the days of old. She seemed genuinely shocked that I had never had an Apple product, let alone an iPhone and it didn’t seem as if she exactly new what to say next.

It happened this past Lord’s Day after services. The wife, man-child (our son) and I decided to stop at a local mall and do a little shopping. The boy wanted a Lego set and the wife wanted shoes. I normally don’t go to the mall–maybe once or twice a year–but we were already out and about and too far from home to simply drop me off and go back, so I tagged along.

Besides being amazed at $140 sneakers (I would never pay that for a freaking shoe unless it had a wing tip), I couldn’t help but noticing how packed the mall was and how almost everyone was carrying several bags with them. Either our economic woes are exaggerated or people’s priorities are really messed up because it didn’t seem to me that many of them were hurting in the pockets.

After grabbing some Legos and checking out the used game section at the Gamestop upstairs, we walked the length of the mall until I caught a sign in the back of a store that said “Genius Bar.”

“What’s that?” I said to myself. I glanced up and noticed that it was an Apple store, something I had not seen before so I went to check it out. The store was crowded but immaculate: nothing was out of place. As I walked around, I noticed that there was no check out counter. The employees were all equipped with some gadget that allowed them to simply scan you out when you were ready, something I found efficient and honestly, pretty cool. However, by the time I reached the back of the store where the “Genius Bar” was, I started to get a weird vibe from the place.

For starters, I found the title “Genius Bar” to be rather pretentious. As I talked to several people; other shoppers and employees alike, it became clear to me that this whole Apple craze is every bit as much of a church or a cult as anything else. The employees and customers really, really liked their products and took extreme pride in them.

In defense of the young lady, I mentioned earlier, I could see why she might have been surprised. I don’t have a regular cell phone, something I decided by choice, so I figured my even being there seemed odd to them. It isn’t a phobia I have but for me, I don’t trust them. Cell phones haven’t been around that long–not in the form they are now at least–so I’m really far behind when it comes to the latest apps and versions of this phone or that phone. I don’t knock people that do enjoy them but if I learned anything in my physical anthropology class last semester it’s that random mutations can be influenced by a host of outside forces and as far as I’m concerned, there hasn’t been enough research one way or the other to say whether or not having invisible waves of information floating around the air or thru our brains is a good thing. Human life spans are longer than that of Peppered Moths or Mendel’s Peas where you can more easily see mutation over many generations because of their shorter lifespan.

They all looked the same, talked the same, walked the same and shared a jargon and a passion that I couldn’t even begin to understand. At first, I rather felt left out. What is that I am missing that everyone else seems to be clamoring for? After all, those phones and pads are not cheap. My wife has a pay as you go phone that costs all of $20’s a month to add minutes if she needs them. It does the job when needed, but it doesn’t have anywhere near all the bells and whistles that these phones had. I started to understand how people could get lost messing with these things. Walking around not paying attention to what is going on around them, happily texting, chatting, or viewing videos and other web based content all the livelong day.

To me, it was a church. Many of the things I noticed while I was there could be correlated with a religion. For example, when I go to church I go to praise the Lord God Almighty. God for them is the technology. If my heart is heavy, sometimes I will kneel before the cross and pray for guidance. When they have problems, they knelt at the alter of the “Genius Bar.” Different strokes for different folks I suppose but man was it weird. That also isn’t to say that all people are like that. Not wanting to state the obvious but as I have learned from experience, people sometimes don’t take the obvious into account. I’m specifically talking about my visit to this particular store and that particular day and what I observed. I happen to be a gamer and I’m sure that from the outside looking in, it would seem a bit odd to them as well–especially my fascination with all things Halo. Get in where you fit in is what I say just as long as you aren’t hurting someone else then we don’t have a problem.

I am so far behind on all this stuff that I doubt I will ever catch up but I don’t mind. I rather enjoy not having the ability to be reached whenever, wherever. Sometimes I just like to experience life as it is and not be enslaved to a monitor or some screen. I spend enough time at a desk typing as it is so the last thing I really want is another gizmo to keep me connected when sometimes I just want to get away.

If technology is your god, then go for it, who am I to tell anyone what to do? Just keep in mind that technology becomes old and out dated…it changes.

The real God doesn’t have that problem. So if you’re going to be attached to something, make it something eternal. That goes for me as well, I’m so stoked for E3 (Electronic Entertainment Expo) that I can hardly stand it, but even I know when it’s time to put the controller down.